December 2, 2024

What to do when you feel guilty about having no watercolor style

For me, the best way to develop your own style is to stop thinking it's an issue not to have one, and to start listening to your desires, your needs and your wants right now, without judgment, shame or guilt. Instead of asking "what is my style?", ask yourself: "what am I 100% clear on in my art?" The paradox is that you already have a style. You just stopped listening to it.

Why does not having a style feel so bad?

If you get upset because you haven't found your style yet, I can relate to that. Maybe you feel guilty because you are just copying other people, and you are upset with yourself.

I understood this thanks to a coach I was working with to develop my business. I told her I was upset because I didn't have any vision. Everyone in the business world talks about having a mission, a vision, something you can dream of so that every day you manifest it. In your art, it's exactly the same.

We were also talking about another fear of lack I was working on. She told me this fear was exactly the same as my fear of lacking a mission or a vision. I was cultivating guilt and shame around "I don't have a vision, I don't have a mission," and I was seeing it as an issue.

For your artistic style, it's the same thing. When you focus everything on "I don't have a style, I don't have a vision for my art, I don't know where I'm heading," what effect does it have on you? It only amplifies that shame and that guilt, the feeling "I'm not enough."

Is it wrong to want a style or a vision?

No. I'm not saying it's wrong to have a vision or a mission that inspires you. It becomes wrong the moment you think it's a problem not to have one.

My coach asked me: why is it an issue to lack a vision? Don't you see there are so many good things about not having one? I said no, I didn't see that. Then she told me I could just live day to day as it is, and listen to my desires and my needs without going for a vision or a mission.

If you think it's an issue not to have your style, it does more harm than good. That is the whole point.

What should you ask yourself instead?

My coach turned the question the other way around. You are not clear on your vision, fine. But what are you 100% clear on?

Apply this to your art:

1. Accept that you are not clear on your style today.
2. Ask yourself: what am I 100% clear on in my art? What am I 100% confident about?
3. When you look at your art and no style is emerging, nothing obvious, ask: what is obvious to me, then?
4. Listen to yourself.

Maybe the answer is "I love seascapes, actually." Maybe it's "I love drawing, and not painting, actually." These are clues. They were completely blurred by the shame and the guilt of not having an artistic style.

What happens when you let go of the guilt?

When you get rid of that guilt and that shame, you start seeing things in you that come from you, not from tutorials or step by step demonstrations. You will see things and think: "Wow, I love these things, actually. I love drawing."

And then, why not drawing? Why are you forcing yourself into a painting style that is not yours today? It doesn't mean it will never be yours. Maybe one day. But today, what do you want to do?

If you drop the idea that it's bad not to be clear, bad not to be confident, bad that your style is not obvious, you can ask a better question: what's obvious to me? What am I 100% sure of, in my art and in my life basically?

How did you choose your clothes as a child?

Think about when you were a child, before you put any judgment on your clothes, for example. Did you judge yourself, thinking "I don't have a style, I don't know how to put on the right clothes"?

When I was young, I wasn't thinking about that. I was just listening: "Today, what do I want to wear? A jogger, a sweater?" That's pretty much it. I didn't blame myself for not having a style.

Your style is built step by step, as long as you listen to yourself. And when you listen to yourself, you look for things that are clear and obvious to you. You don't look at the vision, the mission, the style. Just get rid of that.

Why do you already have a style without knowing it?

It's actually not an issue not to have a style, because the paradox is that you have one. You just stopped listening to it and started listening to the styles of all the artists out there. That completely blurred your own style, which is already shining through you. You are already demonstrating your style in every moment of your life.

But as soon as you think "this artist is better than me" or "I'm not good enough," as soon as you start judging yourself, you cut yourself off from your own inspiration.

To express yourself in your art, I see 3 pillars:

• Painting techniques: talking about mindset doesn't mean techniques are not important. They are one of the pillars.
• Creativity: the second pillar.
• Mindset: the third one, the one this is all about.

FAQ

Why can't I see my own style when I copy other artists?

Because listening to everyone else's style drowns out your own. Comparing yourself and judging yourself cuts you off from your inspiration, even though your style is already there.

Should I keep painting if I prefer drawing?

Don't force yourself into a painting style that isn't yours today. If drawing is what you are clear on, then why not drawing? Painting may become yours one day.

Do I need a clear vision for my art?

A vision can inspire you, but you don't need one. You can live day to day and follow your desires and needs: the harm only starts when you see not having one as a problem.

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